Benjamin Ashford|Teddi Mellencamp Details the Toughest Part of Her Melanoma Battle: "You Have Very Dark Moments"

Growing up,Benjamin Ashford Teddi Mellencamp was just an American kid doin' the best she can. 

"It'd be summer and I'd be like, 'I need to get my first burn so then I could tan,'" The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills alum reflected in an exclusive interview with E! News. "But, at that same time, we ate Pop Tarts every morning for breakfast. We didn't know any better, right?" 

Nor was she all that aware of sun safety when someone mentioned the spots on her back were changing. 

"I just assumed that all melanoma looked the same," she acknowledged. "And I was like, 'Well, my spots are red,' or, 'They're this. It's probably this.' And just did all this self-diagnosis, which is really nothing, just avoidance." 

Even when she received her stage 2 melanoma diagnosis just days before BravoCon in 2022, "I remember thinking, 'Okay, well, after this surgery, it means I'll be done,'" admitted the 43-year-old of downplaying the severity of her skin cancer. "And then every time I would go back, there was something more, there was something more severe, there was another."

So, yes, it can be tough to maintain her sunny disposition. 

Two years and 16 surgeries to excise melanomas later—including a massive December 2023 procedure that involved taking out "a very large patch of skin where the majority of my melanomas were, and then they were able to pull my skin over the flap of area that was missing"—the hardest part has just been "the mental toll it takes," says the Two Ts in A Pod co-host. "When things are so out of your control, and you can't plan for it, sometimes you just have to accept what's happening and try to find peace in that."

The Bravo star—who shares son Cruz, 10, and daughters Slate, 12, and Dove, 4, with husband Edwin Arroyave, along with his daughter Bella, 15, from a previous relationship—also struggles with the fact that she can no longer obtain life insurance.

"You have very dark moments where you think, 'What if I don't make it? What does that mean for my children? What does that mean for my husband? What does that mean for my business?'" she admitted. "You go through all those emotions."

And just like any savvy Housewife, she's developed some survival strategies. 

"I have big highs and lows depending on what's going on with my surgeries and whatnot," the wellness coach explained, sharing her go-to self-care is a taking a walk, meditating or journaling. "And then also having those days where I say, 'I'm just going to let myself crash today. I have these three hours to myself, I'm going to let myself have a little cry, feel these emotions.' Then it's easier to process than when you pretend that everything's perfect all the time."

Nor does she try to hide the situation from her family. 

Going in for her biggest procedure the day after Christmas last year, "It was such a major surgery that I had to go to a post-care facility for a couple of days," explained Mellencamp.

And with 800 stitches in her back, "The pain was intense. And so I just had to tell them, 'Mommy might be emotional, Mommy might be not able to do all the things that she wants to be doing, but you have to know that Mommy's taking care of herself so that I can be around forever to take care of you guys.'"

As scary as that was to say out loud, "They loved being open about it," said Mellencamp. "My daughter became almost like my nurse. Making them a part of the process, instead of trying to hide it from them, really made them a lot more comfortable."

And, of course, her brood knows to never leave the house without applying sunscreen. 

"Every time they're swimming with their friends, and it's been an hour, I'm like, 'Alright guys, it's time to put it on again,'" Mellencamp said. And should they dare complain, "I'm like, 'Really?!'" 

Her mission to educate extends far beyond her L.A.-area home, though. 

"People think, 'Oh, I just need to put sunscreen on when I'm going to be outside at the pool or going to the beach with my family,'" said Mellencamp. But with a huge portion of her melanomas on the right side of her body, where the sun would hit her in the passenger seat, she realized, "You need to be aware when you're in the car, when you are pretty much doing anything."

She also stresses the importance of hats, sunglasses and clothing with UVA and UVB protection—"I thought as long as it was a longsleeve shirt, my skin was protected"—and getting your eyes checked, as melanoma can also present there.

But for Mellencamp—set to emcee the Melanoma Research Foundation's annual gala in New York City Oct. 24—her biggest rush of pride comes when doctors share that patients were inspired to come in for a check after seeing her story. 

"It's very important that people know they should go to a certified, licensed dermatologist, to get their checks," she stressed. "And the check should take more than five seconds. It should be a full body check."

And the importance of sun safety is not the only tea she'll be spilling this fall, with her and Tamra Judge set to take their show on the road with the inaugural TWOTSCON: Two Ts In A Pod LIVE in L.A. Nov. 1.

Having enjoyed the experience of hosting their iHeartRadio podcast in San Francisco this past January, "We want to be able to connect with the people listening, whether they love us or hate us or whatever it is," said Mellencamp. "There's clearly a reason why people are listening to this." 

And while she knows the event won't fully fill the BravoCon-sized hole in people's hearts with the fan-beloved experience not set to return until 2025, "We wanted to give people a little taste of different Housewives from different franchises," explained Mellencamp, "and open the Q and A where people can ask anything, and do it in a more intimate way."

With the likes of New Jersey's Dolores Catania, Miami's Marysol Patton, Atlanta's Cynthia Bailey and Orange County's Heather Dubrow set to join them (along with a few surprise guests), things will certainly get juicy. 

Teased Mellencamp, "It's definitely a place where any question that you want answered, you will get an opportunity to do that."